Category: Relationship & Love Stories

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What men and women want
Forget what you heard about men…

Absolutely everybody is responsible for the quality of men we have among-st us today. Damn right we all are!

Are we really responsible though?
Don’t we all one-way-or-another contribute to making our men feel like crap in disguise of kingship? Let me be thorough with you on this– I do not think it is fair that we pamper the male gender so much that; they become absolutely useless (domestically and otherwise)

Merry men
A wise man treats a woman with courtesy and utmost respect.

My hint is; a good number of our men think egotistically even though they’re so clueless. Right before they think/speak, that “I am a man, and i deserve respect” notion blindside them. Brother, get a grip… the society lied to you without second thoughts!!

You can counter these claims and findings, but before you do so, I’d like for you to perform a visual research on this topic. Trust me…you’ll find that IT IS SCAM; all those “He’s a man” blah-blah bullcrap they’ve been feeding you with.

Sweet boys association
Stop letting the society describe you… be your own identity!!

Manipulations from the society.

It has all been a means to achieving a twisted aim: men are not so difficult to manipulate. With this notion in mind, the society gets men to do their bidding: wreaking havoc and truthfully, the society is reaping the benefits from this whole chaos.

When the society has a certain brand (notion) to sell, they brainwash people into believing that product is the absolute best. Don’t you agree? Well! Let me break it down into smaller particles of senses.

Find your foreign husband here
Men are not scum… the society lied!!

Name tags and labels.

For instance; if a an older brother insists that his younger brother addresses him as “uncle” he risk losing the intimacy between them thus, the baby brother will automatically start seeing his older brother as a slightly distant relative due to the (segregated) remark his older brother makes continuously whenever he’s been approached.

Unknown to our dear “uncle” (the older brother) his baby brother will go in an endless search for his replacement (another brother/best friend) because obviously,  his older brother has graduated into being an older member of the extended part of their family.
P.S
The title doesn’t define a relationship, proper upbringing in the right mindset helps to promote love and respect.

Segregation and ego.

For as long as you continually remind people of your superiority (in any way), there’s always going to be a glitch in that relationship.
Well!! I hope that made sense to you though?

However, I strongly believe that both men and women would have cohabited without glitches if someone somewhere hadn’t blabbed about whose responsibility this and that were.

Characteristics of an adult baby.

If you do the following, you’re an adult baby;

● if you wait for your wife to return home, you’re subject to the nonchalance the society has been selling.
● If you you compel your female kids to household chores while your male off-springs are exempted; then you’re constituting a nuisance of him– demoting him to the status of a toddler.
Physically, men are stronger than women (biologically)… Still, these able-bodied masculine creatures will voluntarily direct all their heavy lifting to the weaker gender(women)… and in the end, these same men will boastfully claim superiority.

My thoughts though: Is there sense in that? What differentiates them from our government heads ( loafers)?
These things are common sense, and for the better part, some real men understands just what it takes to care for women, wives and sisters.

Turning women into modern maids.

Why subject these females to do everything for you so you can gracefully dangle your egoistic head and dick all around the place? Listen up bruv!! Be a man for once and stop being an over-pampered baby boy.

  ****

Did you no know?

That you’re more powerful when you take up responsibilities..?
That if you know how to eat, you should do yourself a favor by learning how to cook lovely meals for yourself.
That a woman whose husband support in all ramifications, get to enjoy a blissful sexual marriage?
That love comes with the whole package of giving and receiving?

That people who had everything done for them are either invalids or infants?
You still didn’t realize that the respect and love in your relationship diminishes over time if you fail to clean up after yourself.

   ****

Didn’t you figure it out yet that, the society is looking to engage women with all sorts of chores (with the help of entitled husbands) so they can turn the world upside down- so there would be no woman to help the sensible men argue and stand up for justice and human rights?

Seriously bruv; you must really be joking if you think you’re created to receive child’s treatment, and in place of breast milk.. you receive sex every night as compensation for being an adult child.
I can’t stress this enough: You’re a born leader. If my memory serves me right, leaders don’t sit back while others do their bidding.

Leaders lead with utmost sensitivity and zero sensualism.

Dear…?
I’m not sure what to address you with… just yet! But before bugging myself with title issues, I’ll just let out my heart to you.

Beautiful ladies and letter writing.

I am a woman… one who appeals to thyself and too many… regardless of those who chooses to admit to it. To some others, I am perhaps a certain woman, one who might become friends or acquaintances with these underway strangers. And to a larger extent, I am getting to rediscover myself with every passing day. So, with these discoveries, I have decided to make some few changes. Please read further below;

In a society where a woman comes second; I have chosen to come first… damming the consequences… yes, you read that right. After all these years of being told to talk less and uphold not my right, I have decided to be my own voice and take responsibilities for and by myself. I choose not to recognise whatever the society thinks of me, say about me, neither shall I ever acknowledge whatever it is the society considers me to be. As a freeborn, I am whoever I choose to be.

Therefore, in writing; I am putting this to you today, and for the first time ever, that you should expect from me that which you’ve chosen to dish out. Women are humans as much as men are, and I take it upon myself to declare that I will shut you up whenever you try to push me around… whenever you instruct (instead of advising) me not to speak. And that instead of bottling up emotions… the way (our society has subjected) most women… I refuse to let you nor anyone (including women who hates other women) drive me crazy; all in the name of keeping quiet (being well-trained).

To your mother, I’ll say: I have a family too. And as much as I am happy to be a part of you/your family, so should you/your family feel towards me too. There’s no greater gender nor individual, and it dazzles me whenever I see mothers who’d interview children of other parents just because they are emotionally involved with your kids. Everyone in a not so twisted way… wants the same thing… the best out of life is what we all yearn for.

So if we keep treating women like monsters, then we’ll be exposing our next generation to be off-springs of mentally brutalized parents. Do not reject a fellow woman because she lives her life in a way that is south of yours. Technically, she’s not your lover, but your son’s.

Siblings

She doesn’t need to dress in certain ways just so you would approve of her… please take a chill pill and let the girl enjoy her youth. Don’t forget what the Bible said about marriage “that a man/woman would leave their parents and become one with their spouse” which in a larger context explains; that you as a parent should let your child enjoy being loved.

I could really care less about your opinion of me… believe me… I have a mother too, and her love is all that matters to me. Just in case you push too hard, your child will gradually despise you until it gets to a point where he’ll never talk to you about his private life. So, I will resound it as many times as possible—as a woman, the best choice left; is to stop hating on fellow women.

Dashing Puerto Rico model

And to you; my potential lover! I need you to know one blatant truth: men who rely on women to do everything at home (all in the name of, it’s her duty as my wife) such a man is just a step ahead of a toddler. Oh yes! Babies are dependent on their mothers until the age of seven, so I’ll urge you to grow up and accept the fact that your genitals hasn’t been proven to biologically hinder you from being responsible as an individual.

Moreover, I hope you read this letter. And I hope that you’ll understand the message it is meant to convey to you. And as you read, don’t forget how much love I have for you… so… be rest assured that women who speak for themselves do not lack respect. You should be proud of the woman I have chosen to become.

To my potential lover,
Yours truly.

Out of sight may be out of mind for some people, however, this saying wasn’t applicable to Femi and Shade. This couple were head over heels in love with each other. Hence, the reason they beat the odds.

Where to find love when in dire need
Out of sight is not always out of mind.


Coping with long-distance

Femi and Shade’s love could neither be obstructed by distance nor time apart. Though it tarried physically, but the strong bond between them weathered every storm.They grew each day, so fond of each other. And as their love bloomed, time appeared patient with them. Some nights they’d stay up chatting over the phone, and other days they’d exchange love letters. Shade couldn’t wait to be done with school; she just couldn’t imagine her life without Femi in it.

Shade’s graduation

And just as she’d longed for the end of her tertiary education; the time finally came. She was overjoyed and couldn’t hold the news to herself. She invited both old and new friends to her graduation party. And of course! Femi was very much present.

Aftermath of the party took place in a private lodge outside campus, and it was mad fun for the lovebirds and their friends. A few ticks after midnight saw an end to the party and everyone was retired to their resting places. Shade and Femi had a luxurious room waiting upstairs for them; courtesy of Femi.

The amazing night

Does true love persevere in crucial circumstances?
Their love weathered all storms and as life tarried, it bloomed continuously.

They made love like lovers on their honeymoon. It was a passionate night, the intensity was explosive; it was as though “they’ve been led out of Egypt” like the Israelites. Then again, this particular night was a Top-Up to their very first night. However, another beautiful memory was again created. Though the night tarried, but not slow enough to have prevented dawn from being birthed.

The morning sun peeped through the curtain blind, as its light rays brightened up the once dark room where Femi and Shade laid in. They awoke finally! Femi had just a few hours left to spare; so every single minute was to be spent beside his precious Jewel.

Yet another departure

Their departure this time is going to be for one straight year, because they’re both travelling to different locations for important reasons. Femi is going abroad for training, while Shade will be dispatched to a different part of the country for her NYSC. Soon, it was the set hour, a driver was ready downstairs to take Femi to the airport.

Needless to say, it was an intense moment filled with mixed feelings for the lovebirds. But life has to happen… like it does… always! And so, Femi departed for the airport and Shade decided to journey home to be with family.

NYSC Time

NYSC Allawee 2018
Nation Youth Service Corps.

In a couple of weeks, Shade received her call-up letter for the NYSC orientation program. It was a new level of experience for her and she shared most of it with Femi. With lots of pictures to remember some key moments by, and some short clips saved up in her archives; she saved them all.

Orientation Camp was tough for Shade, it’s no news that every bad thing is made worse in Nigeria. According to default way of thinking in Nigeria, we deserve the tough love because it is the only way we can truly learn what others went through. Of which… I strongly disagree!

Long journey from home.

Whatever happened, had to happen! And Shade was later dispatched to a small town; few kilometres away from Femi’s hometown. She wasn’t very thrilled about this new development, even though she’d earlier thought about serving in Lagos or its environs. But she had no choice, it was already decided upon on her behalf… afterall!

A few months got her settled in, she got a big apartment away from the heart of the town. Her new apartment was spacious. Shade had rejected the room offered to her, because she didn’t want to live in the “Corpers’ Lodge” with a bunch of strangers. Bit by bit, day by day, time drifted as it should.

Shade enjoying NYSC

The different types of food for a Nigerian Corper.
Shade made some friends in town.

Six months down the line saw Shade into the celebrity stage, she now feels connected. She’s made some friends in town, and the people adored her; especially for her incredible sense of humour. She was living and loving every minute of it—until one fateful evening.

One of the girls from the neighbourhood came by to visit Shade, they’d had plans to watch a trending movie together. And just before then, Shade’s phone rang with a photo of Femi displaying on the screen.

The young girl recognised the face, it was the face of her brother-in-law! How is this possible? Didn’t they say Femi is in America? How is it possible for these two to know each other; she thought to herself.

A few minutes later, shade got back into the room and asked the girl if it had been her phone ringing! Yes Shade, your phone did ring! She passed the phone over, and Shade scrolled through to check who it was. Oh! It’s Femi, she exclaimed! I have to return his call, she said.

The awful gist about Femi

The girl (Abike) spoke up to halt Shade. Please, don’t call yet. That Femi is from Oshogbo… right!? Yes, shade replied with a surprised countenance. Do you know him, Shade asked Abike! Yes, I recognized him from the image on your phone……..he is somewhat my in-law. His older brother was once married to my cousin. They are exceptionally nice people until you marry them. Abike told Shade everything she knew about Femi and his family—and as they spoke, Shade wept.

Your friends can sometimes ruin your relationship
Life harbors countless uncertainties as well as real opportunities.

She’d been told that the love of her life is from a family of “wife beaters” and sexually promiscuous people. She couldn’t believe her ears after being told of the emotional trauma Abike’s cousin went through in the hands of Femi’s brother. She imagined if this same fate would befall her once she marries into Femi’s same family!

The decision

The imaginations of what would become of her once she becomes Femi’s wife drove her crazy. The scary thoughts made Shade very weary, and for the first time; the distance between her and Femi became visible. However, she wanted to tell Femi about it, but then she wondered what the outcome would be… would he just convince me that he’s different from his brother? How could he be from such a family?
She pondered over it continuously, and so, she kept them to herself and never spoke of it to anyone.

Femi was not just a lover boy! He was also intelligent, he figured something had gone wrong with Shade; and so he rounded off his programs beforehand. He flew down to Lagos and headed straight to Avbiosi, Shade’s hometown.
It was almost 4 years into their relationship, and the set time for the Age-Group ceremony which brought them together in the first place. He decided to visit her hometown because he knew, there was no way Shade was going to miss the Age-Group ceremony.

The surprise visit

Femi found a nice hotel to lodge-in at Uzebba, a neighboring town to Avbiosi, in Edo State. After waiting a few days, the evening came upon which the maidens dance-off was to take place. Femi manned up and headed straight to the venue where the dance-off was taking place. Unfortunately, Shade was nowhere present.

He was sad to know that Shade was indeed unhappy, because it is unlikely for her to miss this ceremony. He thought and thought as he waited patiently for Shade, and as the clock kept ticking, so did time drifted afar into the night.

The rejection

And as Femi proceeded out of the arena, he met with Shade. Apparently, she’d been sitting by the corner watching other girls dance. They hugged, it’s obvious that they’ve missed each other, and regardless of the new findings about Femi; they were still in love.
Read also: Love at first glance… chpt 1
Femi watched Shade closely as they spoke, she was avoiding eye contact. But he waited patiently for her to finish talking before he’d reassure her that he’s not going to betray their love.
I know what you want to ask me Femi, and the answer is no! I can’t marry you! I heard heart-breaking stories about your family, and guess what; you supported your brother when he was being accused by his wife.

I can’t deal with a broken marriage, I’d rather deal with a broken engagement than deal with infidelity and emotional trauma at home. I love you Femi, but the “apple rarely falls far from the tree” Goodbye! Femi… my love!!

beautiful love stories and quotes
I love you Femi, but the apple rarely falls far from the tree…

Disclaimer!
This story is based on a true life circumstance. And it was extracted and put together in order to discredit “placing judgement” on people based on their family history.
Femi loved Shade, and their love could have been different from what his brother had. Every individual has a different future, and rejecting people based on stories we’ve heard about them is probably not the best way to go—give love a chance.

If we marry the ones with flawless family records, who’d marry the rest? Undermining the fact that our own children could go astray at some point, and in the end; we may be very bitter if other parents rejects them for their previous errs.
Hence my quote “if we technically didn’t know so much, perhaps we wouldn’t have too many self-inflicted deprivations”.
All quotes and article written by Joyous Akhivbareme.

Story inspired by the Iuleha people of Edo State

Thank you for reading…

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